Investing in Myself
I originally wrote this post to myself on a private blog back in 2014. Times have changed, and I am much better now. With the recent release of my Get Organized and Stay Productive PDF, I felt it was time to bring back some of the memories of where I started.
I’ve left the original comment I made in 2015 as a subtle reminder to myself (and for you, dear reader, as well.JT ~ 02/02/2020
There comes a point when I want and desire to be lazy. Over the past few years it has become increasingly more common. Basically, I have become complacent. This is something I do not want to happen. I need to snap myself out of it. It was time to invest in myself.
I made the conscious decision to stop being so lazy and to get more active in myself. My grandfather taught me about hard work. I have tried to emulate his work ethic my entire life. Because of this, though, it has become all I do. I work. Every task I take on is a job to me and I do it to the best of my ability. Everything from my paying day job to my writing to cleaning my house and even playing video games. Nothing is a hobby, nothing is just for fun, it’s all a job, work to be done.
I Knew I Needed a Change.
It has taken me a long time to come to this realization about myself. Building and working on my websites went from a curious hobby to a never-fail-or-die-trying job. I take on more and more jobs on a daily basis. I work, I write, I play, I create and I spread myself thin. After a while, I get just worn out and run down.
When that happens, I shut down. My mind, my body and my general lack of care. It’s not depression, its just being “blah”. I sit at home and watch TV, or sometimes even stare at a wall in a dimly lit room with no extra extraneous sensory processors. No lights, no sounds. Just my thoughts and my sleeping dog. I grow increasingly tired and end up sleeping through my weekends and doing very little. Come the work day when I am forced to get up and do something I am lethargic and agitated. I am in a mode of doing nothing and have, by the end of the weekend, grown accustomed to it. It’s now what I want. Except for the fact, it goes against everything I actually want.
I want to be active. I want to be productive, and I want my websites to be famous and popular. My novels need to be accepted and sought after. I want it all and I want it now.
When I Invest in Myself I Makes Great Changes
Patience has never been a strong point for me. I am working on it. Organization is my main attribute. It is chaotic but my system works for not just myself, but for most others that have to deal with it. I make lists of my lists. This isn’t enough though. I always want more and to get it, I have decided I need less.
I have decided to focus on what I really want. Top of that list is my writing. A close second is my money. So I have to cut back on most everything else. I still work hard every day, but I am trying to limit my extra gung-ho attitude and just relax a bit. This way when I do get home from work I don’t just want to sit on the couch or sleep the rest of the evening.
I noticed that I was putting everything I have into everything I do like my grandpa taught me. I also noticed that because of this, my results were less than desired. Instead of writing five to eight thousand words I am now writing two or three hundred.
This is unacceptable. My writing is my major priority and I am not doing any of it. I sat down and came to a shocking opinion: to do more, I need to do less. My hours are full. my jobs and hobbies are split among each and every minute that passes. I have to be doing something at all times. As such, I try to do every task and end up with sub-par results.
Invest in Myself More by Doing Less
My realization has me thinking about quitting a lot of my remedial “jobs”. My goal is to take all of my activities except for my writing and my day job and make them into hobbies. Something I do every now and then, for fun. To take my mind off of work and writing. To reboot. I want to be more productive.
The goal was to invest in myself. I need to cut out my distractions, which I have had many even while writing this post. My hope is to leave some things for fun so I can relax without being lethargic, and to reboot my system to orient myself with my long term goals and make some actual progress.
Let’s see how it goes. Everything must improve. It will.